Thursday, December 4, 2014

HOW TO KEEP ROMANCE ALIVE ONCE YOU'RE MARRIED

Once you get married and are out of the dating phase, it takes special effort to keep that "dating" lifestyle going. Life picks up and gets busy and all of a sudden there are all of these extra responsibilities. Like too many trips to Target for house related items, loads of laundry (with lots of boy things in it), lots of family get together's and oh yeah, all the house stuff that comes with owning a house. *sigh* 

However, it's sooo important not to forget about your love life. Believe me, Ascander and I know how busy it gets and sometimes all we want to do is come home from work and sit on the couch until bed time. And you know what, sometimes that's just fine, but we've had to remind ourselves not to get into the habit of sitting around, but to go out and enjoy the love we have and our wonderful life together. 

I wanted to share a few fun ideas to get your mojo back. You don't have to spend a fortune, but make sure your time together is priceless. {oooo, that was good Danae!} ;)

Incorporate Date Night into your week

I'm a big fan of date night! On date night, we shut our phone ringers off, we don't check Twitter or Instagram and we get each others undivided attention. And yes, we do this once a week. Typically our date night is on Saturday, but find what works best for you. It doesn't have to be all day, but try to block out 3-4 hours if you can. 

We have also found that it's more fun when you plan every other date so that both of your ideas are incorporated and it's a surprise each time. Why not go bowling and then out for a hamburger and milkshakes? Or, how about  you rent a couple of movies online, get candy and popcorn and have a movie night in? If your outdoorsy, take a weekend hike and pack a romantic picnic. Really, the options are endless, but you just need to plan it and act on it. A lot of people fall prey to the busy life and don't put enough time and effort into their relationships. You have to make the time to make it work! 

{via}


Holding Hands, Kissing & the Physical Touch

Umm, Danae, that seems so obvious! Hmm, does it? Take a look around next time you are out to dinner or at the store. How many couples are holding hands, hugging or maybe stealing a kiss? I'm not saying that NO one does it, I'm just saying that the world needs a little more lovin. Next time you are sitting home with your man, how about holding hands on the couch or some heavy duty making out? :) Or while you are out, grab him and kiss him deeply while you wait in line for your Starbucks! Yep, I'm most definitely ALL about it. I also have no problem with PDA, you know, of the more tamed variety, but hey, I'm married so I say bring it on. 

Did you know that physical touch makes you healthier? Hugs, massages and holding hands reduces stress while boosting your immune system. So, go grab his hand or give him a kiss. I mean, it's for the greater good people. 



Keep it spicy ladies!

Dare I go there? Dare I talk about...gasp!!...sex!!? Listen, we're all adults here, and even if you're not, I'll keep it PG'ish, but it's all things you need to know anyway. Let's talk again about that "getting home from work and sitting on the couch all night" thing I mentioned earlier. Yeah, this definitely will put a cramp in your sex life. I know all too well. (so ashamed). It's so easy to put those cute flannel pj's on (they're cute right?) and watch episode after episode of your favorite show while falling asleep and allowing the ice cream you were once eating dribble onto your before mentioned, flannel PJ's. I know, I sound like a lazy sloth, which I assure you I'm not, but we've all been there. No judgement here, just life lessons from one friend to another. 

I should also say that I do not feel that it's ALL on the women's shoulders to keep things spicy. We're in a relationship of 2 people, so the weight should be evenly distributed. With that said, GIRL, get off the couch and go put on some lingerie and do something spicy and crazy and well, maybe even naughty, with your husband. Why not? You'll both get something wonderful from it and he'll have images of it for dayz (yes, dayz, with a z because this is serious folks). If getting frisky too late in the evening doesn't work for you, how about before dinner? Or how about you spice things up and don't even go to the bedroom? Each room should be christened. ;)  *clears throat* But seriously ladies, have fun with it and remember that sex really does bring you both together for a physical AND emotional connection that leaves you happy as a kid with cake for dayz (there's that z again). I don't have kids, but when I do, I'll be sure to write a follow up, as I have heard it gets even more difficult then! So, start good habits now and you'll be even happier later. 

{more fun tips here}


Do something  your spouse loves, and love it too!

I think this can be a hard one for us ladies sometimes. Usually guy things are really not that fun. I mean unless you are a sports junkie or love talking about a good beer (and if you do , that's totally fine too) then sometimes doing dudely things can seem kind of, well, not so fun. ;) 

But, I can almost guarantee you that if you do one of his things and start loving it too (maybe not as deeply, but at least understand it and not loathe it) you will get SO many points and lots of lovin in return. And, it will make you feel so good to share something that he's passionate about. 

For instance, my amazing husband loves motorcycles. I mean, loves them so much that our garage has three of them taking up space and most of our weekends are filled with track days in small country towns with no Target. I know! How do I survive? :) So, what did I do? I embraced it! I attend any weekend track day with him that I can, I listen to him talk about motorcycle parts and all his gear and I am an avid watcher and big time fan of Moto GP races, and watch EVERY race with him. We've made it a thing. We never watch them without the other person. And track days? Well, I've met some amazing friends there and I absolutely love days spent in the hot sun, with the smell of gasoline in the air and the roar of engines in the distance. I love it. And, it's earned me a lot of extra points with Ascander too. Do I hang out in the garage every time he's taking a bike apart? No, that's not really exciting for me, but I try to take him snacks at least. I don't like riders forums and I sure don't understand HALF of what he and his motorcycle friends are talking about, but I'm learning and loving all the pieces that I can. I want him to do what he loves, but I don't want to miss out on time with him, so I come along. And you know what? He goes to antique shows with me and will stop at every TJ Maxx in a 50 mile radius if I asked him to. It's give and take. I promise, if you give, he'll give too! Sometimes you have to take the first step. 


My husband on his beloved Ducati.


Me, getting ready to go out for my first time on the track. Something I never would have done if I had not met Ascander. It was thrilling!

Talk to each other

It's crazy how many couples I know that don't talk to each other. I'll have friends complain about their husbands and I'll be like, "Well, have you talked to him about it?" The answer usually is no. How do you expect to get anything accomplished if you don't talk? Again, this is a two way street, both parties need to communicate and it's frustrating when one doesn't. So, learn to open up. Don't bombard him as soon as he walks in the door from work, but use wisdom and seek out good times to talk and let him know how you are feeling. I bet he'll be more receptive once he has a belly full of food and has calmed down after a long, stressful day at work. Yes, smart women know that a key to a mans heart is through his stomach. 

Yes, we have stressful days at work too and sometimes we just need to get it off our chest. Just remember that men and women respond to things differently. You can't expect him to always have the same feelings or even understand yours, just like he can't expect you to never want to talk and just let everything go. Remember, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. :) Talk it out and keep open lines of communication. I promise you, if you talk to each other more, you have more time for romance and you enjoy it more.



Keeping romance alive takes work, but why not start today? I promise you, you'll be glad you did!

What kinds of things do you and your spouse to do keep romance alive? We'd love for you to share your thoughts!

Keeping you Stylish (and in love) 
Danae

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